New to this topic? Start with our companion article: Understanding Concepts and Following Directions: Milestones for Brisbane Children
If your child seems to need every instruction repeated three times, watches their classmates before starting a task, or regularly does the almost-right version of what you asked — you're not alone. Difficulty following directions is one of the most common concerns we hear from parents and teachers at Speaking Speech Pathology.
The good news? There's a lot you can do to help. And the strategies that work best aren't about speaking louder or getting sterner — they're about understanding why directions are hard and making them more accessible. Let's get into it.
Start with Understanding: Why Is It Hard?
Before jumping to strategies, it helps to think about what following directions actually requires. A child needs to:
- Attend to the instruction (hear it and focus on it)
- Understand each word in the instruction — including concept words like "before," "between," or "except"
- Hold the whole instruction in working memory long enough to act on it
- Plan and carry out the steps in the right order
Difficulty at any of these stages can make following directions tricky. For many children, it's the concept language — the spatial, temporal, and conditional words — that's the sticking point. Strengthening vocabulary depth more broadly can make a real difference here, because concept words are a specialised kind of vocabulary. For others, it's working memory (holding multiple steps in mind). And sometimes it's a combination of both.
The breakdown point is different for every child — and once you find it, the right strategy almost suggests itself. Many of the children I've supported with following-direction difficulties aren't "not listening" — they're working twice as hard to keep up.
A Few Things That Can Help at Home
Get Your Child's Attention First
This sounds obvious, but it makes a huge difference. Saying your child's name and waiting for eye contact, getting down to their level, and reducing background noise all help an instruction actually land. An instruction that arrives on ears that aren't ready is an instruction that won't stick.
Match Your Language to Your Child
If your child is struggling with a four-step instruction, that's a sign to try one or two steps instead, with a pause between them. "Put your shoes on." Wait. "Now get your bag." You can also reduce concept load when something isn't landing — swapping "Put the book behind the blue box on the second shelf" for "Put the book here" (point). As your child's skills grow, complexity grows with them.
Use Visual Supports
Visuals take the pressure off working memory, because the instruction stays visible. A simple visual schedule for the morning routine, a first/then board for tricky moments, or just pointing as you speak can all make a real difference. A speech pathologist can tailor these kinds of supports more precisely if your child is finding instructions particularly hard.
Games and Activities to Build Concept Knowledge
One common approach to help children follow directions long-term is to strengthen their understanding of the concept words that directions rely on. Here are some practical activities:
Barrier Games
Sit with a barrier (a book, a folder, or a box) between you and your child. Each of you has the same set of objects or a picture to draw. One person gives instructions, the other follows them — without peeking. "Put the tree next to the house. Put the bird on top of the tree." Then compare your results. Barrier games are brilliant for building spatial concepts, and children love the reveal at the end.
Obstacle Courses
Set up a simple obstacle course and give directions using spatial and temporal concepts: "Go under the table, around the chair, and through the tunnel." You can also let your child give you directions — this is great practice for using concept words expressively.
Cooking Together
Recipes are full of concept language: "Pour a little water into the bowl." "Stir it until it's smooth." "Before you add the egg, mix the flour." Cooking is hands-on, motivating, and naturally rich in the kinds of instructions children need to practise. It's also a wonderful context for modelling the compound and complex sentences that tie these ideas together.
Treasure Hunts
Give clues using concept words: "The treasure is behind something red." "Look between the pillows." "It's not in the kitchen — try the room next to the bathroom." You can adjust the complexity of the clues to match your child's level.
What About in the Classroom?
If your child is struggling to follow directions at school, it's worth having a conversation with their teacher about strategies that can help in the classroom. Many of the same principles apply — visual timetables, pairing verbal instructions with gestures, and checking understanding individually after a group instruction can all make a real difference. Teachers and speech pathologists can work together to identify which concepts need pre-teaching and build them into classroom routines. Ebbels and colleagues (2017) found that explicit, targeted teaching of specific language structures leads to measurable gains for children with language difficulties.
Strategies work best when hearing is clear. Before you try any of these approaches at home, it's worth making sure your child has had a proper hearing assessment. Even a mild, fluctuating hearing loss can make instructions sound like they're coming through a pillow — and no amount of rephrasing will fix that.
When to Seek Help
It's normal for young children to need instructions repeated or simplified. But if your child is consistently struggling with directions that other children their age can manage — particularly from age 4 onwards, when concept knowledge and instruction-following become central to school readiness — it's a good idea to seek a speech pathology assessment.
Signs to look out for:
- Frequently needing instructions repeated or simplified
- Regularly watching others to work out what to do
- Struggling with early maths or literacy concepts
- Becoming upset or frustrated when asked to follow multi-step instructions
- Teachers reporting that your child has difficulty in the classroom
At Speaking Speech Pathology, we assess concept knowledge and direction-following as part of our comprehensive language assessments. We identify exactly which concepts your child has mastered and which need targeted support — then we build fun, practical therapy around those goals.
Alexandra Bouwmeester is a Senior Speech Pathologist (MSPA, CPSP) with over 14 years' experience supporting children's language comprehension. She offers mobile speech pathology to families across Brisbane's south side and Logan.
Following directions is a skill that builds with the right support — and most children make wonderful progress once we identify exactly where they need help. If you'd like to talk it through, get in touch with Speaking Speech Pathology.
References
- Ebbels, S. H., Wright, L., Brockbank, S., Godfrey, C., Harris, C., Leniston, H., ... & Marić, N. (2017). Effectiveness of 1:1 speech and language therapy for older children with (developmental) language disorder. International Journal of Language & Communication Disorders, 52(4), 528–539.
- Montgomery, J. W., Magimairaj, B. M., & Finney, M. C. (2010). Working memory and specific language impairment: An update on the relation and perspectives on assessment and treatment. American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology, 19(1), 78–94.
- Raising Children Network. (n.d.). Helping children follow instructions.
