The words we use shape how people see themselves. For children who are autistic, have ADHD, developmental language differences, or other neurological variations, the language used by the adults around them — parents, teachers, therapists — has a real and lasting impact on how they understand their own identity.
At Speaking Speech Pathology, we're committed to using neuro-affirming language in everything we do. In this article, we'll explain what that means, where it comes from, and why it matters for your child.
What Is Neuro-Affirming Language?
Neuro-affirming language is a way of talking about neurological differences — like autism, ADHD, and learning differences — that respects, includes, and values the person. It moves away from framing these differences as problems to be fixed and instead recognises them as part of the natural diversity of human brains.
In practice, neuro-affirming language:
- Describes differences rather than deficits
- Respects the preferences of the communities it describes
- Focuses on strengths alongside challenges
- Avoids language that positions neurotypical development as the only "normal"
- Acknowledges that difficulties often arise from a mismatch between the person and their environment, not from something "wrong" with the person
Where Did This Come From?
The shift towards neuro-affirming language didn't happen overnight. For decades, the dominant way of talking about neurological differences was through a medical or deficit lens. Autism was described in terms of "impairments" and "abnormalities." Children were labelled as having "disordered" communication. Therapy goals focused on making children look and behave as neurotypically as possible.
The neurodiversity movement, which gained momentum in the late 1990s and early 2000s, challenged this framing. Led largely by autistic self-advocates, it argued that neurological differences are a natural part of human variation — not inherently negative or in need of correction.
Judy Singer, an Australian sociologist, is widely credited with coining the term "neurodiversity" in the late 1990s. Since then, the concept has been embraced by researchers, clinicians, and advocacy organisations worldwide.
In 2020, Bottema-Beutel and colleagues published an influential paper examining the language used in autism research. They found that much of the published literature still used stigmatising, deficit-based language — even when the research itself was intended to be supportive. They called for a conscious shift towards language that respects autistic identity and avoids implying that autistic people are broken or less-than (Bottema-Beutel et al., 2021). Parents often tell us that the language in their child's previous reports made them feel like something was fundamentally "wrong" with their child, when what they needed to hear was what their child could do and how to build on it.
Why Does Language Matter?
You might wonder whether the words we choose really make that much difference. The short answer is: yes, they do.
For identity and self-concept: Children are listening. When a child hears adults describe them in terms of what they "can't" do, or talk about their brain as if it's faulty, that shapes how they see themselves. Conversely, when they hear language that acknowledges their challenges and their strengths, they develop a more balanced, positive sense of who they are.
For wellbeing: Research shows that autistic people who have a positive autistic identity — who see their autism as a valued part of themselves — tend to have better mental health outcomes. Language plays a direct role in shaping that identity (Cage, Di Monaco, & Newell, 2018).
For therapeutic outcomes: When therapy is framed in affirming language, children (and their families) are more likely to engage, feel safe, and make progress. If a child feels that therapy is about "fixing" them, they may disengage or develop anxiety around sessions. If therapy is framed as building skills, understanding themselves, and finding strategies that work for them, the experience is very different.
Across many years working alongside teachers and families, I've noticed that when the adults around a child shift their language, the child's confidence often shifts with it — sometimes surprisingly quickly.
For inclusion: The language we use signals our values. When a school uses affirming language in its policies, when a speech pathologist writes affirming reports, when a parent uses affirming language at home — it creates an environment where neurodivergent children feel they belong.
What Does Neuro-Affirming Language Sound Like?
Here are some examples of the shift:
| Instead of... | Try... |
|---|---|
| "Symptoms of autism" | "Autistic traits" or "characteristics of autism" |
| "Suffering from autism" | "Is autistic" or "has a diagnosis of autism" |
| "Normal children" | "Neurotypical children" or "non-autistic peers" |
| "Communication deficit" | "Communication difference" |
| "Non-compliant" | "Finding it hard to engage" or "communicating a need" |
| "High-functioning / low-functioning" | Describe specific strengths and support needs |
| "Challenging behaviour" | "Distressed behaviour" or "unmet need" |
The Australian Context
In Australia, the shift towards affirming language has been supported by several key organisations:
- The Autism CRC has published guidelines that centre the voices and preferences of autistic Australians.
- People with Disability Australia has produced language guides that encourage strengths-based, respectful communication.
- Speech Pathology Australia has updated its clinical guidelines and position statements to reflect neurodiversity-affirming principles.
The broader disability sector in Australia has also moved towards affirming language, influenced by the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) and its emphasis on choice, control, and participation.
What This Means for Your Family
You don't need to get the language perfect every time. What matters is the intention behind it — choosing words that respect your child, that acknowledge their challenges without defining them by those challenges, and that help them feel proud of who they are.
If you're unsure about the "right" words to use, that's completely okay. Language is always evolving, and the most important thing is to stay open, listen to your child, and be willing to learn. Most parents instinctively gravitate toward affirming language once they see the difference it makes to how their child feels about themselves.
Neuro-affirming language is woven into everything we do — in our sessions, our reports, and our conversations with families. If you'd like to chat about what affirming support looks like for your child, or you want to know more, get in touch. Any actual clinical work — assessment, diagnosis, or therapy — happens through a proper consultation tailored to your child. We're always happy to talk.
References
Bottema-Beutel, K., Kapp, S. K., Lester, J. N., Sasson, N. J., & Hand, B. N. (2021). Avoiding ableist language: Suggestions for autism researchers. Autism in Adulthood, 3(1), 18–29.
Cage, E., Di Monaco, J., & Newell, V. (2018). Experiences of autism acceptance and mental health in autistic adults. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 48(2), 473–484.
Kenny, L., Hattersley, C., Molins, B., Boileau-Grant, N., Magiati, I., & Pellicano, E. (2016). Which terms should be used to describe autism? Perspectives from the UK autism community. Autism, 20(4), 442–462.
Ready for practical strategies? Read our companion article: Neuro-Affirming Language in Practice: A Guide for Brisbane Professionals and Families
Alexandra Bouwmeester is a Senior Speech Pathologist (MSPA, CPSP) with over 14 years' experience and a commitment to neurodiversity-affirming practice. She uses strengths-based language in every report, session, and conversation, and offers mobile speech pathology to families across Brisbane's south side and Logan.
